People are apathetic and can't stand to see someone excited and happy. It seems like every time I grasp onto a little bit of happiness someone or something wants to kick the inspiration right out of me. Am I wrong to be happy, to be interested in everything? Why don't they find beauty in everything? Why have they stopped indulging their curiosity?
It seems like people find it better, or perhaps easier, to feel nothing rather than to feel happiness of some kind. It comes in all different shapes and sizes, colors and textures. You can find it in that shitty retail job you work, you can find it in the blistering cold or while moping the floor. All it takes is a little personality and a sense of humor.
If you don't like who you are, change it. Use your imagination, make up a new persona or personality. It isn't a disorder to have a few different sides of you, it actually can make you quite sane. We are all constantly pushed and changed, broken down and then reconstructed. If you're the same person you were yesterday you haven't really learned anything at all.
I don't know how often I hear people talking like they've already lost. "The government can do whatever it wants, you'll never make a difference in what you do. Cruelty, hatred, murder cannot be stopped." Apathy is the cause of all of this. No one cares enough to vote, to protest or make a change. No one is willing to take up arms and uproot the corruption from within. No one will speak their mind for fear of retaliation. For there are no smart phones in prison, no Facebook or posh blogs.
Defeatism. That is the attitude adapted by the people. Defeatism and apathy. These two are a destructive combination and could very well lead to the downfall of civilization.